Aug 212019
Parenting in a social media world

Everything is not always awesome in real life, but we compare our real with other’s social media perfection. Please stop!

Parenting in a social media world, is fraught with dangers. Heck. Personing, humaning, just being, in a social media world is dangerous. But the dangers I am talking about has nothing to do with the “bad” things we see, or the “bad” things our children see. It has everything to do with the “good” things we see.

The perfect things we see.

Because in Social Media Land, “everything is awesome” (you’re welcome…). Everyone has perfect families. Perfect lives. Perfect bodies, hair and makeup. And if you don’t, there’s always the beauty filter… (Which, by the way, I have used many times).

One of the hardest things for me as a mommy, is looking at other families on Facebook. They look beautiful in their photos. They are all smiling. They love each other so, so much. They never fight or yell or swear. Of course not! They are just awesome. (Que the song again…)

Bullshit.

I am so tired of comparing myself and my family, to others. Especially because I KNOW that their moments on Facebook are highlights. I know this. But my mind whispers in my ear that I am the only one who loses my shit. I am the only one whose kids fight. And it must be because I am such a crappy mother. It must be.

Bullshit. Again.

I am ready to take the mask off. This is me. I am 35 already. I have wrinkles, freckles, invisible eyebrows and very non-perfect hair. I know I should eat better, but I like ice cream and chocolates. My body is bumpy and I have a mommy tummy. But hey, my wonderful, amazing body made 3 babies! My house is messy, and I don’t clean up every day, because… surprise, surprise, I am a mommy and I’m goddamn tired! My kids fight, don’t like vegetables and some days walk around in pajamas all day. But I love them! I smile at children having a fit on the bus and would sometimes just like to give the mommy a hug and say: “Hang in there, you got this.”

This world needs more truth, and less social media perfection. The only perfect I care about, is that it is perfectly okay to not be okay. It is perfectly normal to lose your shit. You are perfectly normal if your house is a mess. And you are perfectly perfect for not being “perfect”.

My heart’s desire (one of them anyway), is for a mothering (parenting) community where we can all just be real. No fake smiles and “it’s such a blessing to be a mommy” BS, while you’re about ready to drop. Yes. It is shit hard! Yes, I am tired and some days I just want to pack my little bags and run away. But I’m still here. And it would be a hell of a lot easier if we would all just be real about how we feel.

So mommy, please stop comparing your family and your motherhood to the bits and pieces that others want you to see. You are doing the best that you can. You are not a robot and neither are your children. You are a perfectly imperfect family and we love you for being who you really are.

Photo credit: Von Hagen Photography

Reader Comments

  1. Absolute truth my friend. I was totally NOT a perfect mother but now that my child is grown and has a home of her own, she gets it. And I can’t tell you how many calls I get saying, thanks Mom for all you did, you taught me so much and I am proud to be your daughter. Hang in and it will come to you too!

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